EUROPE - BRNO, KABINET MÜZ

Woke up violently discombobulated after a strong joint on balcony of accommodation in Dresden’s freezing endless nite. But the ride into Brno was suitably atmospheric. Huge grey skies with foreboding black clouds, rain, and fiery autumnal expanses of forest, leaves in beautiful shades of gold and red. The woods already feel like Eastern Europe. 

Suddenly you’re in the city, pastel high rises, wide boulevards and tram tracks. Massive imposing brutalist Tesco like the headquarters of a dystopian regime. Tracksuit men marching with stylish ladies, alkies rambling about. Super models mop floors. Simon goes to a McDonald’s populated exclusively by old men passed out and children necking steins of beer. High Command hit the launderette where someone is wheeled out into an ambulance and a 10 year old lights up a smoke. 

The town is gorgeous, old architecture whispering love, death, disease. In 60 seconds you travel from the medieval to the 1700s, the soviet to the post- capitalist. Backstage we discuss the functional merits of bidets and tittie bars. The venue/cafe/record shop is a good size and serves delicious Czech draught beers for £2. 

The show goes well, huge circle pits. After, a guy tells Chris, ‘You look like you are very boring.’ ‘That’s not very nice man.’ ‘My English is not very good.’ Shitfaced and wild Czech metalpunx crowd outside the venue. They bang on our van windows, stand in the street blocking the van’s way, cheering, yelling, having a whale of a time. 

Got up early to shit/shave/shower and, being a would-be Continental, figure out the old school hob coffee maker thing. Managed it, felt good and cultured making coffee for everyone. Unfortunately I packed the shit out of it with so much coffee we were pinging off the walls. 

Went on a tour of the 14th century labrynth under the square with the vegetable market. Vast system of tunnels housing cellars for food and wine storage, medieval fridge/freezer, wells, a torture chamber, an ancient underground tavern (no Jägerbombs, no one serving). Not enough torture. Thought there was an ossuary but no. First bit of proper cultural exposure and no skulls. Onto Vienna now. Another beautiful city. When will it end. Getting sick of this.